Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, Seriously?!?!

Let’s begin anew…

So I am a jeep guy.  I refuse to shave on consecutive days, dress in layers, and have yet to pay for a haircut this century (though that is also a part of me being cheap, but I digress).

Yes, it is the exact same rhetoric as last week.  Let’s speed up a bit.

Long story short we decided to take up the dealer’s offer on the red wrangler and enjoy it for the weekend with no strings attached just to prove that the blocked fuel pump had been fixed at the thing was once again running like a champ.  We picked it up late afternoon on Friday, and were excited to give it a thorough inspection until Monday morning.

Top down and ready to ride, CO style

Top down and ready to ride, CO style

After just a quick shot just to and from work Friday night, I got up early Saturday morning to surprise the wife and child by taking the top of the jeep en route to go get some breakfast before hitting a dirt road and seeing what that bitch was made of to ensure the 4WD was in proper working condition.  A couple of donuts and a cup of coffee later we were on the interstate with the wind blowing through our hair on our way to Garden of the Gods to hop on to Rampart Range Road.

***Pa thud, thud.  Again.  On I-25***

Now, I am a pretty understandable fellow, and do try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  But as I sat motionless on the shoulder of one of the main arteries of the Dwight D. Eisenhower System of Interstate and Defense Highways (Google it), I couldn’t help but be a tad bit suspicious of to what the dealership actually meant by claiming to have “fixed” this so-called clogged fuel pump.

And so here…

Going...

Going...

…we go…

...Going...

...Going...

…AGAIN!

...Gone

...Gone

After a bit of revision, I decided to reexamine a couple of aspects of my life to ensure that I come out of this whole car buying experience as a better man.  For example-

So I am a Chevy Blazer guy…

Disclaimer to Jeep people I offended...I still own a Cherokee, so leave me alone.

Disclaimer to Jeep people I offended...I still own a Cherokee, so leave me alone.

Beep! Beep! It’s a…tow truck

So I am a jeep guy.  I refuse to shave on consecutive days, dress in layers, and have yet to pay for a haircut this century (though that is also a part of me being cheap, but I digress).  My dad gave me the fever when he got his first wrangler when I was in the third grade which he just said goodbye to after almost two decades and 300,000 mile, and it has been with me ever since.

Somewhere along the line I lost my focus, and I blame my move to Georgia.  I purchased my first  jeep when I was in high school, a 1974 cj5 which I promptly almost rolled a few times until it Chevy Big Block ripped its axle in half and I decided to send it out to pasture.  In college I saved up and bought my first new jeep, a 1999 wrangler sport, only to sell it a couple of years later when I thought I might be a full-size truck guy instead.  Boy was I wrong.  All I needed was a confederate flag in the back and my conversion would have been complete.  What was I thinking!

Anyway, here I am, back in the CO, and I got the itch back again.  The Jeep itch.  And my wife has it too.

So after a long search lasting a few months, we decided to flop on this 1992 Wrangler YJ.  Isn’t it a beauty?

At least it looks good on the side of the road

At least it looks good on the side of the road

Why is the hood up?  Oh, that’s because we broke down…3 MILES FROM THE DEALERSHIP!!!  Oh, you couldn’t make this stuff up.

God Bless AAA

God Bless AAA

Driving off the lot I noticed that the Jeep was a bit sluggish, but I convinced myself that after sitting on a lot for a while it just needed to get out and stretch its legs (though it drove fine two days earlier when I test drove it.  I can rationalize anything).  Just as I turned on to a main artery and started to gear up…

***pa thud thud***

…and I was done.

Not quite how I envisioned driving it down the road

Not quite how I envisioned driving it down the road

Fortunately we had the coolest tow-truck driver in the history of the world, who recognized my 5 year old was on the verge after being stuck on the side of the road for over two hours.  He invited Tyler to push the levers on the tow truck and drag my lifeless wrangler into position for the short ride back to the dealership (WE ONLY MADE IT 3 MILES IF YOU RECALL!) so we could get our money back.

Author’s Note: So today the dealership called, informed us it was a blocked fuel cell which they repaired, and offered to let us keep it for a few days and get it inspected by our own mechanic if we wanted to consider buying it again.  I just don’t think that’s a relationship I believe I could salvage.

Broken Spoke

After a game of hide-and-go-seek with my keys that set me a few minutes behind of my normal morning routine, my heart shuttered as I heard something crush undernieth the weight of the rear tire of my car as I peeled out cautiously eased my way out of my driveway.  I tried to corral my imagination as I opened the door to investigate the carnage, and breathed a deep sigh of relief when I saw it was just my kid’s bike, sans the kid.  Until I saw that its front wheel resembled a capital letter “L,” that is.

As the cheapest man I know, rather than look into getting a new bike, or at the very least a new wheel (those things are expensive) I busted out a hammer and a pair of vice grips and beat the living hell out of the thing until it again resembled a circle and was able to rotate completely without rubbing the sides of the frame.

For weeks my son seemed not to notice, and as he wobbled his way around the driveway each night before dinner, I beamed with pride at my frugal nature and craftsmanship- until I saw this tweet from my sister:

“T says he would like a tire for his bike that is not bent for his birthday. Simple, practical, & yet a little sad…”

Sometimes you gotta know when to say when…

Happy 5th Birthday, Buddy!

Sportin's Some New Wheels- Staight Ones, Even!

Sportin' a new bike, with straight wheels even!